Until Morning
by Mikauzoran
Summary: As Kaito lies on the brink of death, Aoko tries to digest the fact that her worst enemy and the man she loves are one and the same. Can she ever forgive him and learn to trust him again? Will he even be able to pull through? If he can just hold out until morning... For Poirot Cafe Contest 23.
1. Until Morning

Mikau: Hello again. It's just me, trying to stay actively writing by doing Poirot Café's contests. This one was done for Contest 23: "Morning". I've had the idea for it for a week or so now, but I didn't get to writing it until an hour and a half before the deadline. ^.^; I feel really guilty for rushing, but the way this came out is exactly how I wanted it, so…I hope you enjoy it.

Disclaimer: If I owned it, Aoko would react to Kaito's secret like this:

Until Morning

The door finally opened, and they all looked up, even Aoko.

"If he makes it until morning, he should be out of danger," the little girl reported with a sigh of exhaustion, using the back of her hand to brush her sweat-slick bangs out of her eyes.

Her gloves were stained with blood. Kid's blood…. _Kaito's_ blood.

And Aoko was too numb to try to process the fact that a ten year-old had enough medical training to be able to declare with certainty that Aoko's bitter enemy…who was also her childhood friend…would likely survive if he could hold on to life until morning.

"Thank you, Haibara." Conan-kun replied on behalf of them all, giving the young scientist a weary smile.

"Yes. Thank you," Hakuba-kun responded belatedly and a little awkwardly. "We're so grateful to you for saving him. We can't thank you enough."

Aoko said nothing, only gripped her arm so tight the skin under her hoodie was going white. She didn't trust herself to speak. She was afraid she'd break down in tears or explode into angry screams if she tried to open her mouth. She was a maelstrom of hurt and betrayal, pain and sorrow and anger and fear.

Haibara frowned and gravely informed, "He's not safe yet." before she trudged off to wash up and rest.

Hakuba-kun's expression darkened and he looked down at the floor, folding his hands once more and beginning to mutter under his breath in English as he had been doing for the past two hours. "Our Father…" interspersed with "Hail Mary…" in endless cycles, lightning fast.

They sat in desolate virtual silence like that for nearly half an hour more until Araide-sensei came out of the room.

The grim group looked up once more in unison, awaiting an update to the verdict Haibara had delivered to them.

The doctor forced a smile, but his tired eyes and ashen face did little to inspire confidence. "It's touch and go, but it looks like he's going to pull through if he can ride out these next few hours."

Hakuba-kun flicked out his pocket watch. "Precisely how long is a few hours? Haibara-san said 'until morning'. Sunrise is in three hours, forty-six minutes, and twelve point three seconds. Is that an accurate time frame in which you'll be able to tell something, or will we have to wait longer? Will you know sooner?" The young detective held his breath, praying news would come sooner rather than later. The past two hours had really worn on his spirit, stretched the limits of his sanity.

Doctor Araide's brow creased, and his eyes took on a twinge of regret as he answered, "Come dawn, we should know for sure. If he starts to improve sooner, that will be a good sign, but…we won't be able to say for certain before three or four more hours."

Hakuba's shoulders slumped, and he sighed long and low. He swallowed back his fears and his guilt and nodded. "Thank you, Doctor."

Aoko let go of the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. She frowned. What did she care? Kaito deserved it after everything he'd done. No! No, he didn't! She didn't want him dead! Please, please, don't let him die!

But hadn't she despised Kid from the very depths of her being? Hadn't she wished terrible things upon him in the past? Yes, but… And Kaito _was_ Kid. They were one and the same. Everything she'd held a grudge against Kid for had actually been done by Kaito. Kaito was the one who had torn her family apart, ridiculed her father, wreaked havoc on his sleeping habits and ruined his health. Kaito was the one who had taken her father away from her, putting him and all of the other officers in danger so that Kaito could play his little game.

Because Kaito was bored. She knew that that was the reason. That was why Kaito had done it. He'd been bored, and jumping off of buildings, running from the police had been a fun game, an adrenaline rush to break himself out of his rut. Matching wits with detectives had been the mental stimulation the genius had needed to shake things up.

And she _hated_ him for it. So, yes. He'd deserved what he'd got.

But…as much as she hated Kid, Kid was still her darling Kaito, and if her beloved friend were to die…

But was he really her friend anymore? Kaito had changed over the past few years.

" _Since Kid,"_ her mind gently whispered.

Kaito had changed, and it hadn't been for the better. He was no longer her confidante, her trusted companion, the one she could lean on in times of trouble, the one who smiled reassuringly at her and did magic tricks just to make her forget the pain and the loneliness. Kaito wasn't there for her when she needed him nowadays.

Because he was too busy stealing priceless gemstones for kicks.

He never made time for her anymore…unless it was to accompany her to deliver care packages to her father while he was preparing for a Kid heist.

She'd been stupid.

There was the time on the train, going to see the play together, going to the museum for the Nightmare heist…and Chat Noir…and the time they'd walked around downtown before Kid stole those shoes. Even the time they'd gone ice skating together, it had just been reconnaissance for the heist at the museum next to the rink.

And she'd been completely blind at the time. He'd used her.

Maybe she'd be better off if he died. It's not like she'd be able to look at him again after this. They'd never be friends again. It would never be like it was. She couldn't love him anymore. She'd never forgive him. In fact, she might kill him herself if he survived.

But…Kaito….Kaito… _her_ Kaito.

Was this really how it'd end? Was this really all there was to it? Would she lose him once and for all without even the opportunity to say goodbye, tell him she loved him, and have him apologize and tell her whatever really great reason he'd had for doing all of those terrible things?

Would he say sorry? He would, wouldn't he? Because once he realized how much he'd hurt her…he'd feel _bad_ , wouldn't he? He would. She knew he would because…because he loved her too…right?

He'd hold her and whisper sorry over and over into her ear, and she'd cry, and he'd tell her why, explain it to her with that silver tongue of his so that it sounded like a good enough excuse that she could forgive him.

She wanted to forgive him, but…

When she thought back to how he had wronged her, how she had believed in him, how he'd smiled to her face, swore to her his innocence, and then willfully stabbed her in the back…

She wasn't sure she could trust him anymore. He'd lied to her face for four years now. And he was a _good_ liar. She'd never really suspected a thing, so how was she to know what was real and what wasn't in the future if she did forgive him and she did give him a second chance?

Maybe Kaito was different now. Maybe her sweet, compassionate first love was already dead. Maybe all that was left was a thief and a liar who felt no guilt as he spun pretty lies to suit his purposes. Maybe he wouldn't be sorry at all but he would _say_ sorry and act like he meant it so that she'd forgive him and not turn him over to the police.

How could she believe him, consummate actor that he was?

She felt like she didn't know him anymore. Did Kaito, _her_ Kaito still exist somewhere in there, or…was it really better if they parted ways now, if that bullet laid both her darling magician and that vile fiend Kid to rest so that she wouldn't have to find out the truth?

Because if _her_ Kaito was already dead and it was just that monster Kid walking around wearing Kaito's face…she didn't want to know.

"Aoko-kun?" Hakuba called softly, gently shaking her awake.

Aoko took a deep gasp of air, searching all around, trying to remember where she was and how she had gotten there.

The sterile smell of disinfectant mixed with the metallic scent of blood was a harsh wakeup call.

"Are you all right?" Hakuba-kun called gently, leaving his hand resting reassuringly on her forearm. "I was going to let you sleep until we knew something for sure, thinking the rest would do you some good, but…you were trembling and whimpering in your sleep, so I thought…" He bit his lip, unsure if he should continue.

"What time is it?" Aoko demanded. "How long was Aoko asleep? How long until dawn?"

Hakuba consulted his pocket watch. "There's about fifty-six minutes left, give or take," he sighed, sleep deprivation hanging on every word.

"And…" She looked longingly at the door behind which her best friend and worst enemy was fighting for his life.

"Conan-kun, Araide-sensei, and Haibara-san are in there with him. I stayed out here so that someone would be with you when you woke, but…" Hakuba shook his head heavily. "No change for the better or the worse, unfortunately, but…he's holding on, and if I know Kuroba, he'll make it. He's too stubborn to die like this."

"Aoko wonders if any of us really know Kuroba Kaito anymore," she muttered to herself.

Hakuba blinked and then his eyes widened. "You really had no idea before that he and Kid were…?"

She shook her head. "Because Aoko didn't want to see it," she grumbled bitterly. "Because she was stupid, and he tricked her, he u-used her," she chocked, hot tears finally breaking free and streaming down her cheeks.

Hakuba's hand found hers, and he gave it a reassuring squeeze. "Aoko-kun, I want you to promise me something. After he recovers, give him a chance to explain. He's not a bad man, and he does have his reasons. I'm not sure they're quite good enough to justify what he's put you through, but…"

Aoko did not look convinced.

Hakuba frowned and tried again. "Well, one thing's for sure. He _loves_ you, Aoko-kun, and hiding everything from you these past four years has been eating him up on the inside. Trust in that because even if you two have grown apart because of Kid, that much is still true. No, you won't be able to go back to how things were right away, and no, I don't think you _should_ forgive him for everything, but…let him explain and then think about what he says. After you've given yourself time, _then_ decide if the years you two have loved each other should really be thrown out over the mistakes he's made being Kid."

The floodgates opened, and Aoko found herself sobbing in Hakuba's arms as they waited out that final hour.

Because deep down, despite everything, she still loved Kaito, and she wanted to believe.

The

End


	2. Second Chances

Mikau: Surprise! Second chapter! ^.^; So the first chapter was written for Poirot Café's Contest 23: Mornings, and then Contest 24: Assumptions brought on a sequel. I hope you enjoy it. I know some of you were wanting a continuation. Have fun! Oh! Reviewers from last time! A special thanks to: Verity58, chanderjindal2, and everyone who reviewed on Poirot Cafe! Now have fun.

Disclaimer: I feel like I've said this before, but if I owned it, I'd focus on Haibara some more. She's such a neat character and could really use some more camera time. Even better would be if she and Hakuba could meet. Anyway!

…

Chapter Two: Second Chances

The sound of knuckles gently rapping on her door. A hesitant voice beyond the muffle of the pillow: "Aoko-san? I'm sorry to disturb you… _again_ …but it's been two whole weeks."

This was his sixth visit. He'd given her the first three days to herself to allow her time to grieve before he'd checked up on her the first time. When she hadn't opened the door to him, much less acknowledged his visit with a "Thanks for coming" or even a grunt of recognition, he'd waited two more days before he came again. After being met with a similar welcome, he'd started coming every other day just to let her know that he was there for her if she ever needed anything, and he'd brought her flowers, though, he wasn't sure if she liked flowers, but he hoped they'd cheer her up, and it was okay to call him any time, day or night—he could even come over if she needed him—so don't be hesitant about ringing him up, but…he was worried about her and wanted to help, so…just let him know if there was anything…anything he could do because…he was worried…her father was worried, and…he cared about her—b-because they were friends!—and…just let him know…all right, Aoko-san?

He'd said this all to the unfeeling, mute wood of her bedroom door, awkwardly tripping along, trying to get through to her, trying to entice her out with his support and thoughtfulness, his kindness, and his blind, unceasing, dog-like loyalty to her.

Because Hakuba Saguru was a genuinely good man whom she should probably pay more attention to, but…Aoko was just too torn up over the whole best friend and crush equals backstabbing, father-thrashing, lying, conniving, trust-betraying thief.

And she couldn't be bothered to get out of bed any time soon because it hurt too much to think about… _everything_ and what it meant for her and her future.

"Aoko-san?" Hakuba swallowed hard and tried again. "Aoko-san, I—" His voice cracked. It sounded strained, like he was trying to keep from crying in frustration at his own powerlessness.

Aoko peeked out from underneath the pillow, eyes half-lidded to keep out the glare of the mid-day sun slipping in through her blinds. She thought about sitting up in bed, considered calling out to him.

" _Please_ ," he breathed so softly she almost missed it. "Please," he repeated his prayer. "Won't you just…?" He didn't know what he wanted from her.

He knew she must be an emotional wreck at the moment. Her whole world had been flipped in one night with finding out the man she loved had secretly been the man she hated all this time, seeing him shot, sitting for hours as she waited to learn whether he would survive. Saguru had seen the empty, lost look in her eyes the morning afterwards when he'd taken her home. Saguru knew she had a lot to think about, a lot to consider…a lot to sink into depression over.

He wondered if he were being insensitive, if he should give her more time, but…he knew from his own emotional struggles that it was never good to wallow in misery alone and that sometimes you needed someone to pull you out of your downward spiral.

Kuroba Kaito had been the one to teach him that.

He let out a weary sigh, resting his forearm and forehead against the cool wood of the door. He wasn't sure what the "right" choice was. Nakamori Aoko was normally a very strong, resilient young woman, but…the human spirit can only take so much, and this latest trauma might just have been the tipping point.

The door opened, nearly sending Saguru tumbling face-first into the subject of his musings.

He gave a startled "Oh!" but quickly righted himself, pulling together his composure in record time. "A-Aoko-san," he stammered as he surveyed her greasy, tangled hair, her rumpled sweats, sallow complexion, and joyless eyes. "How are you feeling?" he inquired with no expectation of a positive response.

Aoko sighed slowly, giving an apathetic shrug as she ran her fingers through the bird's nest that had once been her hair. She knew she looked like something out of the Left 4 Dead games, but she couldn't bring herself to care at the moment. There were more important things going on in her life than personal hygiene right now, and she knew Hakuba-kun would be a gentleman about overlooking her haggard state.

He attempted to make conversation as best as he could while respecting her lack of interest in interacting with another human being. "Thank you for opening the door, Aoko-san. I've been worried sick about you—"

—He did look it. He wasn't nearly as bad off as Aoko was sure _she_ looked, but his coloring was splotchy, and the tar-like circles under his eyes that he was attempting to hide with concealer spoke of genuine fretting over her…or maybe over Kaito. Aoko had no way of knowing how Kaito was doing. Maybe he was still in rough shape what with the amateur care he was getting. It wasn't like that family doctor Araide and that Haibara girl were trained to care for gunshot victims pulled back from the brink of death—

"—and I can't tell you how much of a relief it is to see you up on your feet." He smiled sheepishly. "It's been rather hard, talking to your door these past two weeks…. He's not much of a conversation partner."

"Neither is Aoko right now," she mumbled, voice rough from the tears, the drainage, and the two weeks without use.

Saguru bit his lip but didn't flounder. "And that's quite all right. I can judge by the look of you what your condition is. That's chiefly what I wanted, and the door wasn't very helpful in that respect. You don't have to speak if you don't feel like it. Just be aware that I'll listen if you do feel like talking about anything."

She nodded lethargically. "Aoko heard you when you came before."

"Oh, did you?" He brightened up a bit at that, his cheeks coloring slightly.

She nodded again and thought to add, "Thanks for the flowers. Dad put them in Aoko's room."

"You're very welcome," Saguru assured warmly, his dread and his fears melting away at her encouragement. "I'm glad that you liked them."

Aoko lifted her left shoulder slightly in acknowledgement.

Seeing her plain indifference to his presence, Saguru attempted to move the conversation along. "Is there anything I can do for you, Aoko-san? Anything you need?"

Aoko shook her head gravely, eyes tired and hazy. "Aoko just wants to be alone and sleep. Thank you for coming." She took a step back, moving to close the door.

His right foot came forward to stop the door in its tracks. "But your father said that you haven't really been eating much. Would you like some food? I could make you something or I could go fetch something for you if you prefer." He held his breath as he added, "Or…if you're up to it, maybe you could get cleaned up and I'd take you out somewhere—anywhere you like."

Aoko shook her head. "Not today." She gave up the door, instead turning and walking back over to her bed, getting in and leaving Saguru to either stand in the doorway awkwardly or commit the egregious sin of entering a young lady's room.

She threw him a bone as she pulled the pillow back over her head: "Thank you again for coming all these times, Hakuba-kun."

…

"I really can't thank you enough for your hospitality, Haibara-san," Saguru sighed, wearily sinking into the proffered armchair. "And it's nice to finally meet the only soul in Japan capable of making a proper cup of black tea," he added sheepishly.

She apathetically shrugged as she set the tray down in front of him on the coffee table. "My mother was particular," she stated matter-of-factly, but then a wistful tone crept into her voice, and she sounded as if she were far away in her thoughts. "…I remember I used to bring her tea in the lab in the evening when I was young." She shook her head, snapping back to the present. "But doesn't your housekeeper make tea well?"

Saguru grimaced. "Baaya is mostly German, so it's difficult to get a satisfactory Japanese tea, let alone a proper British one out of her. Honestly, you're a godsend."

Haibara hummed disinterestedly, as if the matter didn't mean a thing one way or the other to her…but she was secretly pleased. "Well, anyway, I wouldn't call this hospitality. It's more of an obligation in Japan to serve guests tea, but…I suppose I do pity you for coming all the way to Beika to see Kuroba-kun only to find him unconscious."

"How is his condition, by the way?" The words rushed out anxiously, tripping over one another as they hurried to be spoken.

Haibara gave a snort of amusement, rolling her eyes as she poured a cup for herself. " _Too_ well. And too hasty to _be_ well that he's almost inadvertently pulled out his stitches three times. I've been keeping him sedated so he can't get in the way of his own recovery."

"That's Kuroba for you," Saguru chuckled in relief, picking up his saucer and cup and gently nursing it.

"Your friend is stubborn to the point of pigheadedness, and he doesn't know how to look after his own wellbeing," she sighed. "It's a good thing I'm used to dealing with his kind, or our patient might have tired me out by now."

"You mean Edogawa-kun," Saguru chuckled. He could see many similarities between the two. "It's up to us to look out for them." His soft smile faded. "Only I'm doing a lousy job caring for mine."

Haibara shook her head and offered her guest a rare shred of compassion. "No. My idiot's been to death's doorstep and back too. He was lucky enough to get to a hospital in time. Yours didn't have that luxury…and yet look at him. He'll be up and about in a few weeks if I can keep him from making his injuries worse with his impatience."

Saguru's smile slowly regained its strength. "Thank you for saying that, Haibara-san."

But Haibara was back to indifference and aloofness. She waved it away.

"The real question isn't his physical condition but his mental state," Haibara reminded, causing that anxious frown to slip back onto Hakuba's features.

Saguru nodded, pity infused into his voice. "I can't imagine. He must think he's lost her…must be just waiting for her to tell her father and have the police come banging down his door."

His brow knitted together, and he nibbled his bottom lip in thought. "If only I could persuade her to come talk with him, let him explain. I'm sure they could sort things out with time if they'd only—"

Here Hakuba was cut off by Haibara's incredulous snort. "You're quite the masochist, aren't you?"

Saguru's eyelids fluttered in surprise. "B-Beg pardon?" He couldn't have heard her right.

"You're going to try to patch things up between them, even though it's against your best interests," she sighed, shaking her head at his selflessness.

"Sorry?" Saguru refused to admit it.

Haibara rolled her eyes, leaning in and lowering her voice to tease. "You know what I mean. You've finally got your chance to cut in, and you're squandering it because you _like_ languishing in rejection and unrequited love."

Saguru concentrated very hard on keeping his gaze steady and not squirming.

"It would be so easy for you to slip into her heart now that it's been broken by Kuroba-kun's betrayal. You could be her comforter, help her rebuild her life." Haibara's smirk widened. "Or maybe you're more interested in helping _him_ piece things back together now that he's hit rock bottom. I bet he'd eventually fall into your arms given time. He's lost, depressed, confused…easy pickings for a sensitive, supportive, attractive Prince Charming like you."

Saguru looked away, crossing his arms and not deigning to comment…but the scarlet blush on his cheeks was admission enough.

She smiled like a well-fed cat, sipping smugly at her tea.

Finally Saguru faced her and retorted, "I'm not the only masochist here. Kuroba's mentioned it to me. You've got Edogawa-kun trapped with you for the rest of your lives—the only one who knows what it's like to be imprisoned in a body too young for your intellect—where you can comfort him and support him as Ran-san gradually stops waiting and drifts way. And yet, you work feverishly to create an antidote so that he can return to her and leave you behind. Please don't patronize me so when you're doing the same thing yourself."

Silence fell between them as Haibara gawked.

Slowly she processed the fact that he knew. It raised all sorts of feelings inside of her that she shoved down to sort through later. She looked into her cup and mumbled, "I have my reasons. I'm atoning."

"As am I," Saguru replied gently.

Her eyes flickered back up, settling into a frown of inquiry.

He looked her in the eye as he confessed, "It's my fault that she was at the heist that night. If it weren't for me, she wouldn't have been there, wouldn't have seen him shot, wouldn't have learned the truth…" He grimaced. "…wouldn't be suffering as she is now."

Haibara shook her head. "Just because you're the reason she came, that doesn't make it your fault, everything that's happened."

He sighed ruefully. "I assure you that I _am_ guilty. Worse, I've been hoping for this for years, something to happen to drive a wedge between them so I could pick up the pieces. I've sinned in thought as well as in deed." His expression softened, and he smiled dimly at her. "And so I have to do everything in my power to fix things between them."

Haibara nodded. "I know what you mean. Sometimes I think—" She stopped herself, smiling guiltily. She didn't want to admit the horrible, evil, self-serving things she had thought to _him_. "I'm a terrible person who doesn't deserve to be happy."

"You're not alone."

…

It was an additional week before Aoko finally agreed to leave the house to get lunch with Hakuba. He'd come back every other day to check in on her. Most days she admitted him for a brief conversation that went much the same way each time they had it: She was the same. Thanks for coming. No, she didn't feel like eating anything. Thanks for coming. No, really, she just wanted to be left alone. Thanks for (whatever gift or trinket he had brought for her most recently). Goodbye.

Sometimes he let her close the door in his face, but on his stubborn days she could only get rid of him by retreating and climbing back into bed, letting his sense of propriety escort him out.

She appreciated his concern, she really did, but…she was too busy wallowing in her hurt-betrayal-anger-despair-humiliation-grief to deal with Mr. Right right now.

Until he insisted he be dealt with.

Hakuba took her hand in his own and got down on both knees in front of her, pleading, "Aoko-san, please." His eyes were damp, one step short of tears pooling in the corners. "I'm afraid. I feel like I'm losing you, and I can't stand watching my friend slip further away. I know this must be unimaginably horrible for you, but you mustn't let it destroy you like this. There's more to you than your relationship with Kuroba—your father, your friends…and if I might be a little presumptive, me. There's so much more in your life to keep fighting and living for."

He closed his eyes, squeezing her hand. "I'm not saying you have to get over it overnight because it _is_ a big deal, and you're right to grieve, but don't let this consume you anymore. _Please_. Come back to us. Let us help you through this."

As Hakuba trembled before her, Aoko felt many things. Chiefly there was pity and guilt. Here was this wonderful man right in front of her who really deserved her attention and devotion, but Aoko could only think of Kaito, deceptive snake though he was. She also felt guilty about worrying her father, her other friends. She'd fallen apart and pushed everyone away, neglecting everything else in her life so she could fixate on her broken relationship with Kaito. She was ashamed of herself, bringing grief to all of her loved ones like that.

So even though she'd rather go back to sleep, isolate herself, she took a deep breath and started down the road to recovery.

"Hakuba-kun?"

He gave a start, staring up at her eagerly, anxious for something, anything from her. "Y-Yes?"

"Aoko kind of feels like a milkshake from Welcome Burger."

His face lit up as he nearly jumped to his feet.

Aoko saw the jubilant grin and realized for the first time that Hakuba-kun was really handsome. Her heart didn't do backflips or anything. It was more like the realization of a fact: Oh. It's raining. Oh. Hakuba's handsome.

She didn't really eat anything at Welcome Burger, but just her being there seemed to placate the blonde and her father. They looked relieved, and some of the shadows seemed to lift from their faces.

Hakuba-kun came back every other day so as not to make a nuisance of himself, and he took her to every ramen shop, burger joint, and sushi place in her neighborhood.

After they'd been at this a week, he tentatively asked, "Aoko-san, do you remember what you promised me? A month ago. The night of the shooting?" He studied her, noting the slight tightening of her fist, the shift of her lips as they pressed together.

She shook her head. She remembered very little from that night. It was one terrible blur, a smear of mulberry-colored blood across the canvas.

He swallowed hard, proceeding cautiously. "You promised me that you'd give him the chance to explain himself."

She looked down at her bowl of noodles as her stomach twisted itself into knots. She didn't want to. She didn't want to sit there as he told her about all the ways he had tricked her, how he had used her, gotten to her father through her, manipulated her, lied to her. She didn't want to sit there and listen to him try to make it sound like something that could be forgiven.

"You don't have to see him now," Saguru quickly amended. "But I want you to think about it and let me know when you're ready." He bit his lip and hesitantly added, "Only…sooner would be better for him. He's living in torment right now, knowing that you hate him and think he's a monster. It would be better for him to be able to explain sooner rather than later, but…when you're ready."

…

"Ready" turned out to be a week of hard consideration later, a month and a half exactly after Kid had been shot and she'd found out, almost lost him.

Hakuba-kun took her back to that house in Beika that she'd never known the way to, and that serious blonde girl that knew too much about medicine for a ten year-old—Haibara was her name—greeted them, ushered them in.

"I'll wait up here," Hakuba gently informed as Haibara kept walking, showing Aoko the way.

Aoko was led down into the basement and to one of the rooms in back.

Haibara knocked, waited two beats, and opened the door for Aoko without further ado.

And there was Kaito propped up in the bed—shirtless with bandages wrapped around his torso. Had he always had such strong arms, such a lean, lithe frame?

His eyes widened—beautiful purple-blue eyes that shimmered like tanzanite. Why hadn't she noticed before?

His mouth dropped open, and he stared in disbelief—Was it really her? Was she _here_? Was he just hallucinating again? No. It really was her. She _was_ here…and, oh God, she _knew_. She knew and she was here to kill him!

Aoko saw each thought flit across his face as she slowly made her way across the room towards the chair at his bedside. She sat, eyes focusing on her folded hands in her lap.

Kaito took a moment to wonder why he wasn't dead yet.

Then they sat there in silence, sneaking furtive glances at each other, neither knowing what to say.

Finally Kaito broke the unnerving, uncertain quiet: "What are you doing here?"

Aoko shrugged, not looking at him. She didn't really know. "Hakuba-kun told Aoko to come…. So Kaito could explain."

"Idiot," Kaito hissed under his breath.

Aoko snapped to attention, ready to be insulted, but she realized that Kaito had meant Hakuba. "Why?"

Kaito shrugged, affecting aloofness. "The idiot thinks it's going to change things, but it isn't."

Aoko made a point of looking elsewhere about the Spartan-style room. Was it really not going to change things? …Did she _want_ it to change things? She didn't know.

"I'm a bad person," Kaito declared unrepentantly, looking straight at her. "I'm a lying, thieving, conning bastard, and no amount of 'there's an evil syndicate out there that killed my father' is going to change the fact that I've been a sucky human being for going on five years now…if I wasn't a sucky human being before that too."

Aoko blinked, trying make sense of his tirade. Evil syndicates and murder had never crossed her mind. She'd assumed that her friend stole and returned priceless gemstones for the adrenaline rush. Evil syndicates and murder very well could be game changers.

"Look," Kaito sighed, raking a hand through his hair.

Her eyes followed the fingers, and she wondered if Kaito's hair was soft or rough, thick or fine.

"I'm sorry," Kaito stressed. "But I don't want your forgiveness. I don't. This isn't going to happen." He pointed back and forth between the two of them. "One, as should be obvious, I'm not good for you. I'm a criminal, and I'm gonna keep being a criminal and having to lie and break promises and risk my life. It wouldn't work between us." He shook his head sadly.

"Two, I don't even love you anymore," he continued like a college student delivering a persuasive speech.

But he'd said "anymore", meaning that he had loved her once.

Aoko's heart fluttered; her breath caught. He'd _said_ it. He'd admitted it.

"So you'd be better off going with Hakuba. He's a good guy, stinking rich, well-connected, and, what's more, a gentleman who'll treat you right." He'd gone from college student to used car salesman making a pitch.

Here Aoko got truly confused. "Hakuba-kun? What's Hakuba-kun got to do with this?"

Kaito met her gaze and blinked like he couldn't believe she hadn't realized it before now. Normally _he_ was the unperceptive dunce when it came to matters of the heart.

"Hakuba's been crazy in love with you since sophomore year of high school," Kaito informed her in such a serious tone, with such a somber expression, that she couldn't help but believe him.

Only it didn't make sense…until she thought about all of the obvious signs that she'd completely missed because she was a total fool, too busy mooning over Kaito that she had never even realized that this wonderful man, her friend Hakuba, had been tripping over her for ages.

And now she felt like sludge. But…

"Aoko doesn't feel that way about Hakuba-kun," she whispered down into her lap.

"Maybe you could with time." Kaito shrugged. "Give him a chance."

She should. She really should. Because everything Kaito had said about Hakuba Saguru was true. A life with the detective would be worlds better by society's standards than a life with an untrustworthy criminal who was apparently mixed up in something seriously dangerous considering some kind of secret organization was trying to gun him down.

But…

Aoko took a deep breath, steeling herself. She looked Kaito right in the eye and declared, "You're trying to protect me."

Kaito blinked.

"You're pushing me away because what you're doing is dangerous and you're afraid that you'll die or I'll get dragged into it and be killed," she accused. "You _do_ love me—"

"—Aoko—"

"—And you're trying to save me from you." She snorted. "Kaito, _you're_ the only one that thinks of yourself as a monster."

She'd said it, and she'd meant it. It surprised her when she realized that she meant it. After all, hadn't she just spent the last month and a half cursing his name, calling him all manner of vile things? Hadn't she thought he'd deserved them all at the time?

Yes, but…that was before she saw him bandaged up in that bed, before he'd told her straight that he was a slug, undeserving of her forgiveness. He hadn't tried to make excuses for himself, hadn't pled his case, even though it did seem like there was something there behind all this that would make his late night escapades make some semblance of sense. He'd tried to push her away, ensure her happiness with another man, and bury his own desires and chance of happiness.

When it counted, underneath it all, he was still her dear, beloved Kaito, despite all of the horrible things he had done. He'd proven himself to her.

She leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. "I can't forgive you just yet," she warned. "And I won't trust you again for years…probably won't ever be able to trust you completely, but I want you to explain it all to me from the beginning. Help me understand why you lied and used me, why you publically humiliate my father, and why you have to steal things you don't keep. Once I understand, we'll go from there."

He stared at her, confused, uncomprehending, disbelieving. "Why? Why are you even bothering with me?"

Aoko shifted, embarrassed but determined to look him in the eye, unwaveringly. "Because even at first when I absolutely hated you, I still couldn't stop loving you…. And Hakuba-kun told me I needed to listen to your story and think long and hard before I threw away this relationship that you and I have spent years creating."

For the first time in a long time, Aoko saw Kaito cry. It was only a single tear, moist eyes, but for _years_ he had been using his poker face to hide from her, keeping his emotions locked up securely inside. This was the first time in over half a decade that he had opened up and let her see.

Kaito smiled—grateful, exuberant, loving—as he leaned forward and nuzzled her ear. He kissed her on the forehead and chuckled, "Man, I really owe that idiot now, don't I?"

The

End

…

Mikau: Ta-dah! The End. For realz this time. ^.^; …Unless I decide randomly to do a Hakubara (OH! I like that! It's the kanji for "white" and then the sound of "rose"—bara. New pairing name! White Rose. Ahem.) omake chapter…and or fic. I've had three thoughts recently. One, Kaito and Haibara. Two, Hakuba and Haibara. Three, Heiji's a stud; I need to use him more. Um…but thank you so much for reading, and I hope you liked it. Please ignore my zaniness. I slept for four hours last night. ^.^; Take care!


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